Workout and 21 day challenge

Yesterday I had an AWESOME workout! I didn’t feel like going to the gym at all, and I actually sat in the parking lot for a good 15 minutes trying to decide what I was gonna work on… I usually don’t ask myself questions and follow my training plan but I was just not feeling it last night. So I decided to make up my own circuit workout and it turned out to be so much fun!

Here is what I did:

• 15 kettlebell swings*
• 12 lateral raises*
• 10 overhead press*
• 15 leg raises
• 30 high knees
• 10 squats with kb in hand*
• 10 plank to push up
• 12 upright rows*
• 30 sec jumping jacks
• 15 pushups

Go through every exercise without stopping then rest for 90 sec and repeat 4 more times!

*use weights that are challenging for you

I was a hot mess when I was done with this one!

21 day challenge

They say it takes 21 days to get rid of a bad habit (or build a great one). I decided to verify the truth of this statistic. Last night, I had a small binge after not having any for 2 days. I felt disgusting after and guys I am seriously SICK of always feeling like that! So I’m hoping this challenge will help be with night eating. I’ll monitor my progress and will try to have a streak of 21 days without binges. If I fail after 5 or 16 days, I’ll be back to square one and will try this until I do it for 21 days straight. Wish me luck!!

IT’S FINALLY APRIL!

Omg! I’m soooo happy April is here! We still have so much snow here in Montreal, but still, I’m really hopeful that we are really done with this white stuff! I can’t handle it anymore!

I registered for a half marathon on June 1st… Which is exactly in 60 days! I need this snow to melt so I can start running again. I HATE the treadmill so I never run inside. I’m starting to freak out a little as I have no idea if I’ll be able to get my mileage up fast enough to be able to run 13.1 without stopping :S

Today was not my best day.. I worked all day obviously and the sun was shining which is always amazing! But I really have to go to the gym and I have no motivation whatsoever. I always feel bad when I miss a day of training because I feel like it’s only because I’m super lazy…But I have no strength today I feel really blahhhh. Hopefully I’ll change my mind really soon!

Like I said in my previous post, I’m currently following a training plan and a nutrition plan to boost my metabolism and help with my binging at night. I only started 1 week ago but I already see some ameliorations. I used to binge EVERY night and for the past week it’s only been 1 out of 2 nights and smaller binges. But last night was not good. I ate a lot after supper even though I wasn’t hungry… That’s probably why I feel so blahh today, I have really bad body image and I just feel like curling up and doing nothing when I know that working out would actually probably help me get rid of this nasty feeling!

 

Anyways, for dinner last night I made kale chips with an open face crab sandwich and a big salad! It was DELISH! And should have sufficed to fill me up but apparently it didn’t since I had such bad cravings after dinner!

 

As I’m posting this really ugly picture, I’m thinking that I need a real camera if I’m gonna start taking pictures of my food for the blog!! This phone camera business isn’t doing so well haha

I need to get going, talk to you guys later!! 🙂

What makes you happy

Hello all!

Today marks the beginning of a new step for me (well I sure hope so). I’ve been thinking A LOT about my ed and what I’ve been going through during the past 2 years. I’m so tired of being labeled as ”mentally ill” and I just wanna be able to say I’m NORMAL again.

I decided to really think about my bulimia and what really triggers my binges. I came to the simple conclusion that I’m just NOT happy. This is a sad realization but at the same time I’m glad I had it.

I then decided to see what I can easily change in the short term to be happier. I remembered how amazing I felt when I was actually going to a real gym (instead of working out at home) the year before anorexia entered my life. So, this morning, I went back to that same exact gym and I bought a new membership! I worked out there for 30 min and I was just so happy in that moment.

This blog thingy is also something that makes me happy, so I’ll definitely blog everyday even though I’m not sure anyone reads this haha

Finally, I want to pursue a new career path so I’m gonna go all in trying to find a new job that makes me feel satisfied and complete!

Short term goals also include: reading more, hanging out with my friends more, be more wild, go on dates etc etc

I’m just really hoping that those small changes will increase my happiness, which will decrease my binges which will make me feel better about myself.

I had 3 big binges the last three nights and I’m just sooooo sick of this! I say this EVERYDAY but something needs to change!

HOPE is the theme of the day, hopefully I’ll keep this in mind all day 🙂

Bisous xx

2 month hiatus

Wow, I cant believe I havent blogged in more than 2 months!! When I started this blog I really wanted to keep it up to date and make this a journal…Obviously I failed.

I feel like I need to start blogging again. I know that nobody reads this but for my total recovery I need to put out there what’s on my mind.

This whole Summer has been a disaster. Working at a job I dont like, getting played by a guy I trusted with all my hearts, still gaining weight and binging and trying to find what I want in life.

The good news is I found a new career path, I just need to find a job now 🙂

For the whole eating disorder thing, it’s not going that great. Bulimia is still part of my everyday life. I wanna lose weight SO bad, I HATE my body but I keep having these binges. The weight is coming on instead of getting off. I’m currently on Prozac but I feel like it doesn’t make that much of a difference… I know that I have those control those binges at night and be stronger than this disorder but I guess I’m just weak, as I fail every night…

Some days I wish I was anorexic again. I still didnt love my body then but I liked it way more than I do now…

Its NY fashion week now and I would have been there is my anorexia hadn’t turn into bulimia. I only modeled professionally for 3 months but I loved it!! London FW and Paris FW were just awesome in February. I wish I’d be in this industry still. Fucking ED.

Anyways, I’ll be back on this whole blogging bandwagon and I’ll try to blog everyday. I’ll post my workouts, my eats and how I’m feeling. Hopefully this will help me!

Have a good day 🙂