Thinking out Loud – The freedom of normal eating!

Hi guys!

I’m just popping in quickly today to talk about my day yesterday and doing my first #thinkingoutloud :). I had a super stressful day at work! I am a sales representative and June is one of my biggest month (quota wise) and I was actually doing really good this month! I had closed 3 deals and was actually over quota which was awesome. But then all hell broke loose around lunchtime yesterday. I’ll spare you the details but a client cancelled on me and it kinda ruins my month 😦 Today is the last day of the month (order-wise) so I won’t be able to make up for it. I was really disappointed… I also had other problems with clients so let’s just say it wasn’t a great day! Then after work, I had an appointment to get my lashes done that I was late for because I had to leave work later than planned and right after my appointment I had a bootcamp! I got to the bootcamp super rilled up because of the stressful day and was so thankful to be able to sweat it out and think about something else!

After the bootcamp, it was 7:30PM, I was so tired and not in the mood to cook. I made a strawberry-watermelon protein smoothie and had to leave my house to go to physio for my first treatment for my shin splints. I actually only got home around 10:45PM and I was STARVING.

Here is what was amazing about last night. Usually stress + fatigue = BINGE for me. My brother had made homemade pizza for dinner and there were some leftover. I was so hungry and I wanted a piece so bad!! I thought that if I had a piece, it would FOR SURE lead to a binge. I had a small protein pancake for breakfast, a salad with 1 HB egg for lunch and some almonds as a snack and my smoothie for dinner but I knew that it wasn’t enough for the day I had had and it was normal for me to feel hungry.

I haven’t had real pizza in at least 8 months I would say. It’s one of my fear food. I love it so much I feel like I’m gonna end up eating an extra-large if I have one bit. But I decided to try it. I cut myself a normal snack piece and heated it up. I sat down, with no distraction and ENJOYED and SAVORED every bite. And you know what? No going back for seconds or thirds and no binge happened!!! I got a small serving of watermelon to end my snack and went to bed and that was it!!! I woke up in the middle of the night and only had a glass of water and went back to bed.

This just seems normal for everyone but for me it was a big deal!! I was able to enjoy some amazing pizza and not feel guilty about it. Yesterday was a sh*tty day but I have to say that this experience just made my day! 

I had to share 🙂

Have a great day xox

WIAW…intuitively! :)

Hey guys! Time for another WIAW!! Thanks again to Jen for hosting! Head over to her blog to see everyone’s amazing eats 🙂

So yesterday was a national holiday for us French canadians and I really had to time to take pictures of everything that I ate! Let’s get this party started!

I woke up around 10:30 (AMAZINGGGG) but I wasn’t super hungry. I browsed my usual blogs and then around 11 I made coffee and decided to have a white peach with it!
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Around 12:30 I was ready for something more hearty! So I toasted two pieces of whole wheat bread and put a cut up hard boiled egg and a slice of cheese in the middle to make a great sandwich! I also had a ginormous salad on the side with Bolthouse Salsa ranch dressing! I’m obsessed with this dressing, it is made from yogourt so it’s creamy but not loaded with fat 🙂
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My day was pretty low key today. The weather was awful and killed my mood haha I watched a movie in the afternoon and read a book then around 3:30 I was ready for a little snack. I had some cut up watermelon in my fridge so I had a little serving of that before making my way to the gym!
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Today was one of those days where I REALLY didn’t feel like moving my butt but I knew I’d feel more energized afterwards. I hoped on the crosstrainer for a 30 min sweat shesh and followed with a 20 minutes of lower body strength training. It totally killed me…but in a good way 🙂

When I got home around 6, I was STARVING and in need of something quick! I made a favorite of mine from the past few weeks. I cooked some soy beans pasta that I topped with a small chicken breast and plenty of veggies! After the photo was taken I put some sriracha sauce on top for a little kick! This meal is SO satisfying and gives you a hearty portion of protein!
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Look at the stats for those soy bean ”noodles”!
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160 cal, 21 g of proteins, 10g of fiber and only 15g of carbs! And it actually tastes amazing!!! I used to use shiritaki noodle and would make myself like them because I knew they were ”better” than regular pasta. I now realize that was my ED talking. Because now I can’t stand them!! But this kind is seriously the best!

A little while after dinner I felt my sweet tooth kick in and I prepared myself a mug cake!
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I always change my recipes for mug cakes and sometimes they are a total fail! But this one was amazing!!
-1 scoop of vanilla whey (I use Isogold)
-1 tbsp of coconut flour
-1/3 cup of egg whites
-1/2 tsp of baking powder
-1/2 of a small banana

Mix everything together then cook in a mug for 90 sec! I topped mine with a little coconut oil! Absolutely amazing!!

Finally, before bed I still felt like a little something and since my new motto is to listen to my body, that’s exactly what I did! I felt like having another white peach and some more watermelon. I used to think that I couldn’t eat fruit after dinner but now I don’t care. I mean, fruits are probably a healthier choice then chips right? I had my fruits and felt satisfied 🙂

I have to say that yesterday was a GOOD eating day, where I was able to let my senses take over the voice in my head that tells me what I should eat! Also, no binges in sight since I stopped counting calories! This might only be luck but I’m still proud!

Have an amazing day!
xox

St-Jean-Baptiste!

Hey!! For all of us Quebecers, today is a day OFF since it’s our National Holiday! Unfortunately, it’s super rainy outside! Booooooooooouh! I really wanted to go for a run and maybe get my tan on! That’ll be for another day!

As you guys know, I stopped counting calorie last week and surprinsingly it’s going well!! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! And I didn’t gain 20 pounds like I thought I would haha It feels good and I plan on keeping it this way 🙂

I participated in the #bikiniseries organized by my favorite trainers, the Tone It Up Girls for the past 8 weeks. It ended on June 21st with the first day of Summer! I actually lost 11 pounds during this challenge so I’m very happy! I didn’t follow their guidelines really because ultimately, for me, this challenge was more about controlling my binges than eating clean. Because I always eat well, it’s just that the binges come ruining all the hardwork in a flash! I am happy to report that even though I’m nowhere near perfect, the binges are far less frequent now that they were 2 months ago and this makes me happy!

Also, another happening of the last few days, I went back on a softball field!! I used to play when I was younger and stopped at the age of 16 but I’ve been missing it ever since! So after a little hiatus of 11 years, I had my first softball game last weekend and it was fabulous! Loved it 🙂 We had perfect weather! I didn’t know ANYONE there but they were all so nice and welcoming 🙂

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That’s all I got for you guys today! I’ll be back tomorrow for WIAW – no calorie counting edition! Bisous xox

The day I stopped to count calories/WIAW

Hi all!
Today is a special day for me. As I woke up during the night to eat ice cream because I was starving and stupid (FML) I realized that obsessing over calories will ALWAYS keep me disordered. So after logging all my meals in My Fitness Pal for the past 3 years, I decided that I would stop this as of TODAY! I know I won’t stop trying to average what I’m eating right away, but I know that stop logging every gram of lettuce I eat will help. The eating disorder thoughts are a part of me now and have been for a while and I am seriously not convinced that they will ever go away completely. But I know that I’m entertaining them by the habits that I have on a daily basis. So F*CK calorie counting! I love to eat healthy and this will stay for sure but if I want to eat 21g of almonds instead of 17g (17g is 100 calories) then be it! I certainly wont die and I’ll be satisfied and maybe my risks of binge eating will decrease because I won’t be obsessing over food anymore. I tried this before but never really let go. Now I’m give it my all and see in the long run how it works. I know that this process won’t change me overnight but I’m curious to see where it’ll take me. If only I could go back to my old ways of not obsessing over EVERYTHING that I eat, I’ll be a happy camper!!

Now onto

On another, here are some samples of what I’ve been eating lately.

Breakfast:

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Protein pancakes, oatmeal and turkey bacon always make good breakfast options!

Snacks:
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Coffee, Perrier and dattes! That’s all I need to be happy! 😛

Dinner:
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Chicken and eggs on various forms like sandwiches and flatbread pizza!

That’s all I have for you today! Go check out Peas and Crayons to see what everyone has been eating!
xox

Fun Facts Friday

TGIF!!! This week has been a long and demanding one and I’m so ready for those 2 days off!

1. It’s been raining non stop for the past few days here in Montreal and it’s suppose to keep on raining tomorrow! I had plans of drinks outside with friends tonight so this won’t happen! Bummer I was really looking forward to it! Drinks are always fun, but drinks outside just takes the whole thing to another level haha I’m sure we’ll still have fun though!

2. My shin splints are worst than ever 😦 I have a half in September and I want to go back to running 3x/week and it just looks like it won’t be possible. I had 3 miles on the agenda on Tuesday and I had to walk more than half of it because my shins were hurting sooooo bad! When I finished work today, I went to the gym planning to run 3 miles again and that didn’t happen. I ran for 30 seconds before giving up because it was too painful. I really need to go see a physiotherapist if I don’t want to jeopardize my whole training plan!

3. My brother is leaving for Barcelona tonight for a week and I’m SO jealous! Really happy for him but so jealous still. I want to get away too!!

4. I had a mini-binge yesterday before dinner. It hadn’t happen in ages and I felt SO bad! I had breakfast at 7:30 AM and wasn’t able to eat lunch until 3PM… I had my salad but I felt ravenous so I gave in and ate a bunch of stuff. I had a friend coming over for dinner and it just ruined my whole night. I could only think about the fact that I overate for lunch so I wasn’t able to eat anything other than veggies for diner (I was still also full from what I had eaten earlier on). This f*cking eating disorder is just ruining my life! It’s getting better but I hate myself for caving in knowing I would regret it later…

And that’s all I have for you folks today! Have a great Friday night! xox

Currently – June 2014

Before starting this blog, I have been an avid blog reader for the past 3 years. Recently, this ”currently” survey started popping out and I have been wanting to do one ever since! So here it is, my first ”Currently” post 🙂

Current Book
Reading hasn’t been my forte in the past years. I don’t know why, I just stopped reading when life got busy as I grew older! But I really want to get back to it. I love getting lost in a story and losing track of time or where I am! Best feeling! Right now, I’m actually reading ”Dark Places” by Gillian Flynn. After reading ”Gone Girl” and loving it, I thought I would give this book a shot. I’ve only read the first few pages and I’m curious to see where this will go!

Current music
I’ve been OBSESSED with this song! Freaking love it!!

Current guilty pleasures
Binge watching (not eating hahaha) episodes of 90210 on Netflix :S

I’m so ashamed haha I’m 27 years old!!! I shouldn’t be watching teenage tv drama! But I’m hooked and now I can’t stop :S

Current nail color
I’m the kind of girl who changes nail color every 2 days so the color I have on now might not be the same as tomorrow! Well for now, I’m rocking some OPI coral color! Love it, super ”summery”

Current drink
Coffee all day every day!

Current food
Well as I’m typing this post, I’m having a delicious bowl of eggy banana oats with my beloved protein powder for some staying power!
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Current obsession
See ”Current music” haha

Current wish
Humm… This is pretty vague but I guess as simple as it sounds, I just want to have an amazing Summer and enjoy it to the fullest!

Current need
More coffee!!

Current triumph
I have to say work is going REALLY well this month! Small victory 🙂

Current indulgence
Working from home this morning! Feels AMAZING!!

Current procrastination
I need to pay for a parking ticket… I should have done that 2 weeks ago and now I’m past my due date and everyday I forget to go pay it or I’m too lazy to make the drive to go pay it. It has to happen TODAY!!

Current blessing
Even though I’m going through a though time right now, I have friends and family to support me and this means everything! ❤

Current excitement
My brother (and roomate) is leaving for 1 week to go to Barcelona and even though I’m SO jealous, this means I have the appartment for myself for a whole week!! PURE BLISS!!!!

Current mood
Happy 🙂 I weighed myself this morning and I am finally back to a normal BMI. Ok, I’m in the upper range but still, I lost 7 pounds since beginning of May and even though I am working SO hard for the weight to come off faster, I’m still happy with the fact that I am FINALLY losing some!

Current link
http://www.style.com
It’s Resort season in the modeling world and I love to check out all the Resort collections of the most amazing designers 🙂

Wow this took more time than anticipated haha I need to start working! Have a great one xox

hum….hello there!

Wow can’t believe I haven’t blogged in 6 weeks! To be honest, I’ve been having a really hard time at life these past few weeks and I couldn’t find the strength to blog about it… My body image is as its worst and I’m just SO sick of everything! I’m working out like a maniac 5-6 times a week and I’m eating on point, counting calories and all and I can’t seem to lose weight! Before, I knew the binges were what was holding me back from dropping the weight but it has been going ”pretty well” on that front. My binges are down to once a week, but the effect they have on my mood are worst than ever. I feel like the most disgusting person for DAYS after it happens and it’s literally taking all the happiness out of me…

My bad body image is just ruining my every day life. It’s the only thing I think about and I’m starting to get anxiety again when I have social outings. Even though I’m not losing weight right now, the idea of gaining the slightest bit more is mortifying. So every time I go for drinks with friends or to dinner, I obsess about the calories instead of enjoying the moment… it sucks.

Work has been going good so at least that’s that!

On another note, I took part in the “100 miles by Summer” challenge by the Tone it Up Girls where we had to cover 100 miles between April 27th and June 21st by doing cardio and I actually finished all my miles yesterday! Felt so good 🙂 So now I’ll just see how many more I can do until the 21st!

Last weekend was my first 10k of the season. It actually wasn’t so bad and I finished in 60 min on the dot! My PR is 54:55 so I was 5 min over but still, I was really proud of myself! I’m carrying a whole lot more weight now than I did when I ran my PR so I know this counts for something haha.

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I also went to hot yoga with a friend for the first time since March this week and it felt SO GOOD! I was literally drowning in sweat but still felt great!

 

 

 

 

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My breakfast of choice has been protein pancakes for the past month or so! I fell in love with them 2 years ago and had kinda forgot how easy it is to do, even on work days! Also, I tried this new to me protein powder recently and it just took my pancakes to whole new level! If you’ve never tried it, I can’t stress it enough, go buy some and make delicious protein pancakes!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Blogging felt really good tonight. I don’t want to stress about having to blog everyday but I’ll definitely try! It feels good to write about how I feel!

On that note, have a good Sunday night friends and I’ll catch you later xox