2 month hiatus

Wow, I cant believe I havent blogged in more than 2 months!! When I started this blog I really wanted to keep it up to date and make this a journal…Obviously I failed.

I feel like I need to start blogging again. I know that nobody reads this but for my total recovery I need to put out there what’s on my mind.

This whole Summer has been a disaster. Working at a job I dont like, getting played by a guy I trusted with all my hearts, still gaining weight and binging and trying to find what I want in life.

The good news is I found a new career path, I just need to find a job now šŸ™‚

For the whole eating disorder thing, it’s not going that great. Bulimia is still part of my everyday life. I wanna lose weight SO bad, I HATE my body but I keep having these binges. The weight is coming on instead of getting off. I’m currently on Prozac but I feel like it doesn’t make that much of a difference… I know that I have those control those binges at night and be stronger than this disorder but I guess I’m just weak, as I fail every night…

Some days I wish I was anorexic again. I still didnt love my body then but I liked it way more than I do now…

Its NY fashion week now and I would have been there is my anorexia hadn’t turn into bulimia. I only modeled professionally for 3 months but I loved it!! London FW and Paris FW were just awesome in February. I wish I’d be in this industry still. Fucking ED.

Anyways, I’ll be back on this whole blogging bandwagon and I’ll try to blog everyday. I’ll post my workouts, my eats and how I’m feeling. Hopefully this will help me!

Have a good day šŸ™‚

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