What I ate Wednesday #4 Photo Fail

Hi guys! Time for another WIAW! Head over to Jenn’s blog to see what everyone has been eating this week!

I gotta say I totally forgot to take pictures of my eats yesterday so I’ll just share my dinner picture.

I thought I would do a little update on the whole binge eating thing today. This might not seem like a big deal but I haven’t have a binge in the past 10 days. It’s the first time it has ever happened and I’m SO SO happy. I would like to say that I made a specific change and that I found the key to success but I really didn’t. It kinda just happened. But I have to say that I noticed that I stop restricting as much during the day and I’m eating things that I WANT more than things that I SHOULD. After 2 years of therapy, it really seemed like those people knew what they were talking about haha

But yesterday I have to say I ate WAY more than I did in the past 2 weeks. Don’t know why, I was just genuinely hungry. I had too many nighttime snacks but I have to forgive myself. They weren’t consumed in a binge manner and I just listened to my hunger signals a little too much haha I even woke up during the night to have a spoonful of PB, with yogourt and a couple of almonds :S But whatever, today is a new day and I wanna stop hitting myself on the head whenever I make mistake. I know this road back to normal  eating and losing weight might be long, but I need to enjoy every step of it!

 

Ok enough rambling, back to dinner:

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Ok this was THE MOST random meal ever but satisfied every cravings I had: it was salty, cheesy and sweet all at the same time! Steamed veggies with marinara sauce topped with 2 eggs and 1 tsp of freshly grated parmesan cheese. With 2 plain wholewheat waffles on the side. LOVED IT. 

Gotta run to work! Have a great hump day people!

xox

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Stomach bug is killing my vibe

Hey all!

All week I was stuck with a nasty stomach bug! Could barely eat, had fever and overall felt like sh*t! It lasted 4 days and I’m officially better this morning. I haven’t been able to work out all week. Just going to work was taking all the energy I had. So happy to finally be back in the game!

Eating wise, I couldn’t get motivated to cook anything. Just thinking about food made me want to throw up but I knew I had to eat. And when I’m feeling nauseated, the only thing that sounds eatable is CARBSSSS. So I definitely carb-loaded for 4 days haha but at least I was getting enough calories in to fight this virus and be able to somewhat function. 

Ever since the beginning of my EDs, pasta has always been a big fear food. If I was in a situation where I was forced to eat some, I would have a couple of bites and then call it quits. Even now it’s still hard. But last night I had the biggest craving for a big pasta bowl. So I went with it and it was GLORIOUS! I had a full serving of pasta (all 85g of it!) with jarred tomato sauce and grated cheese.

Look at this beauty!

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It was absolutely delicious and satisfying! It was my first real meal since I started feeling sick on Tuesday. My craving was satisfied and it kept me full forever! Probably because I was still feeling a bit queasy but still, I’m actually proud I was able to listen to my body and eat this. The old me would have taken this sickness as an excuse not to eat anything whereas now, I knew I had to eat a bit all throughout the day even though I didn’t feel like it to give my body energy. Little victory!

 

On another note, I’ve been a fan of the Tone it Up Girls Katrina and Karena for like 4 years now and their annual Bikini Series is starting Aprils 28th! It’s a super fun challenge with AMAZING prizes that motivates you with your workouts and your eats. Go to www.toneitup.com to sign up!

To start off the series, the first challenge was to #createyoursummer! Basically just list whatever you wanna accomplish and do during Summer 2014.

Here is what I came up with:

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Hopefully Summer 2014 will be my best yet!

On this note, I’m off to the gym and grocery shopping for a sweet girls’ night tonight! 🙂

xox

WIAW #3

Hi all,

welcome to WIAW! Thanks again Jenn for hosting! I’m so excited to be part of this now 🙂

This one will be quick because I need to head out the door in a couple of minutes!

So let’s take a look at what I ate yesterday shall we? 🙂

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I had already scarfed down most of my breakfast when I realized I hadn’t take a picture yet haha I had 3 spinach-cottage cheese-frittata with 17g of almonds! Well that’s what was originally on my plate.

For lunch I had leftover chicken with sauteed veggies and a blend of brown rice, quinoa and lentils! Super yummy! I also had some berries to finish my meal on a sweet note!

This weekend, I splurged and bought 2 box of Quest Bars. I LOVE those bars but man are they pricy!! Anyways, I thoroughly enjoyed one before going to the gym!

Got back from the gym and grocery shopping around 8PM and had NO motivation to work in the kitchen. So I made a turkey sandwich with 1 tbsp of hummus and one slice of my beloved Kraft singles. I also had some cottage cheese for added proteins, with a salad and a green juice (kale, apple, celery, cucumber, lemon). Totally hit the spot!

I had a handful of almonds before going to bed around 11! And this concludes this edition of WIAW! 

HAPPY EASTER!

Happy Easter to you all! May your day be filled with family time and chocolate 🙂

Today, I’m popping in just to ramble a bit about everything and anything!

First off, I went for a run last night and I felt SO GOOD. Best I’ve felt since I’ve started running again. I covered 3 miles in 30 minutes following a 10 min run + 1 min walk tempo. It was amazing to actually run without thinking I was gonna die every 10 seconds!

Also, yesterday I found this amazing mug:

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Seriously in LOVE with it! Those are the little things that light up my days haha I also bought 2 new books: Happy Endings by Jon Rance (as seen above) and Dark Places by Gillian Flynn. I really enjoyed Gone Girl so I’m hoping I’ll like this second book just as much! I really want to start reading again, I used to be a book junkie but then life got in the way and I stopped reading but I wanna make time for it again. It’s just one of the things in life that make me feel good and I definitely need more of that.

On that note, I decided to create ”Guidelines” for my life. This may sound silly but I just had a really bad day yesterday after I had a big binge Friday night and it just made me think about life in general. I’m the kind of person that like to follow rules and I decided to create a list of stuff I should live by and that might help me feel better in the end. I want to be happy again.

I weighed myself Friday morning and I had lost 3 pounds that week. I felt awesome. Then I binged that night and had a so-so day yesterday eating wise and I weighed myself again this morning. I gained the 3 pounds back. Made me feel disgusting. I’m judging 98% of my selfworth on my weight and this has to stop. I’m OBSESSED with being overweight and it is ruining my everyday happiness. I day dream about my pre-eating disorder days. At that time, I was still super self conscious about my body but I know now, that if I had that body, I would be happy and satisfied. I just want to loose the weight and be back to my normal self. Right now, I’m just going through life and I’m not enjoying it one bit.  I don’t want to go out in public because I feel like people are disgusted by me. Looking at magazines is painful because I know that I used to look exactly like those models. I’m either living in the past or hoping for a brighter future. I’m wasting the present and I know I’ll regret it one day. So this is what I came up with and what hopefully will get me on the right track to a healthy weight loss while enjoying the journey, one step at a time! 

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Sorry this was a lot of rambling but I needed to get this out!

Be on the lookout for more recipes and happy posts this week 🙂

xox

WIAW #2

Hi all, time to celebrate another WIAW 🙂 Thanks Jenn for hosting such an amazing event every week!

*BREAKFAST* 7:30AM

This morning, I had my new usual breakfast: egg white omelette filled with PB and topped with WF syrup! I usually have 2 slices of chicken bacon but I was out so no bacon for me but it was still delishhhhhh!!

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*LUNCH* 12:00PM

I packed a basic lunch this morning: big salad with 2 HB eggs and a granny smith apple. Image

I had my almonds at 4:30PM after my workout because I was ready to chew my arm off!!

*DINNER* 6:30PM

My meals don’t photograph well, I have 0 artistic instinct BUT they sure taste amazing! For dinner, I cooked some ground chicken with tacos spices and added zucchinis, onions and a red bell pepper. I had this over some leftover brown rice, with a Kraft single (oupsyyyy haha) and some salsa. To finish it off, I steamed some asparagus. It was super satisfying and filling 🙂

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Before going to bed, I made a banana peanut butter coconut applesauce and muffin bowl. I always have a little something before bed just to try to keep my night eating habit in check. I’m thinking that if I go to bed satisfied, the chances of me getting up to go eat during the night diminishes… But then I woke up around 12 hungry as ever and headed directly to the pantry 😦 I had 2 crackers with coconut oil and shaved coconut on them with a couple of almonds. UGHHHH whyyyyyyy does this happen all the time?!? Gotta head out to work, have great day :)!

Challenge update and sugar shack!

Happy Monday all! Hope you had a fabulous start of your week!

So first, since this blog is all about honesty, I wanted to do an update on my 21 day binge free challenge. Well let’s just say that Day 1 went fabulous and after that it went down the drain. I wasn’t feeling well Friday so I stayed home that night and I binged because I was so bored. This means I failed after 2 days. WOW. Not impressive. Same story Saturday night even though I had friends over for most of the night and felt awesome… When everyone left, I raided the pantry. I felt f*cking miserable after (like always). I weighed myself the morning after and that definitely didn’t help. Summer is coming and I’m getting more self conscious as each day pass….I’m not feeling too hot right now let’s say.

Yesterday I went to the sugar shack, which is basically a cabin in the wood where maple syrup is made and where you can have a ”traditional meal” (read everything fried, greasy, sugary or all of the above at the same time). Let’s just say that thinking about going there got my anxiety through the roof. I’m so obsessed with loosing weight that the thought of have a super rich meal was totally freaking me out. But I had to remind myself that I NEVER treat myself to anything ”unhealthy” and that I still binge a lot so that maybe one night off would satisfied my sweet and fatty tooth (just made this up). It was a family affair, we were 25 so I focused on enjoying the company, not thinking about counting calories and actually ended up having a really nice time. I left there stuffed even though I only had a little bit of each service but happy that I made it through the night. Obviously, last night, no binging occured. I didn’t even think about food.

Last night was definitely a victory in my whole ordeal with ED. When I was sufforing from anorexia, if someone had told me I had to go to the sugar shack I would have done ANYTHING not to go. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the anxiety. This kind of life event just reminds me how much I’ve learn throughout the past few years and I definitely needed a reminder that I am stronger now than I was before.

Workout and 21 day challenge

Yesterday I had an AWESOME workout! I didn’t feel like going to the gym at all, and I actually sat in the parking lot for a good 15 minutes trying to decide what I was gonna work on… I usually don’t ask myself questions and follow my training plan but I was just not feeling it last night. So I decided to make up my own circuit workout and it turned out to be so much fun!

Here is what I did:

  • 15 kettlebell swings*
  • 12 lateral raises*
  • 10 overhead press*
  • 15 leg raises
  • 30 high knees
  • 10 squats with kb in hand*
  • 10 plank to push up
  • 12 upright rows*
  • 30 sec jumping jacks
  • 15 pushups

Go through every exercise without stopping then rest for 90 sec and repeat 4 more times!

*use weights that are challenging for you

I was a hot mess when I was done with this one!

21 day challenge

They say it takes 21 days to get rid of a bad habit (or build a great one). I decided to verify the truth of this statistic. Last night, I had a small binge after not having any for 2 days. I felt disgusting after and guys I am seriously SICK of always feeling like that! So I’m hoping this challenge will help be with night eating. I’ll monitor my progress and will try to have a streak of 21 days without binges. If I fail after 5 or 16 days, I’ll be back to square one and will try this until I do it for 21 days straight. Wish me luck!!