I’m not really sure why I stopped blogging for the past 7 months. A LOT happened and my life literally changed for A to Z.
When I first started blogging, I wasn’t 100% honest with myself. I wanted to ”help” people with eating disorders even though I was still battling one each and every day. I don’t think it’s possible to help others when you are the one who really needs all the help in the world. I am now in a much better place even though I’m still not where I wanna be.
In the past 3 years I went from being healthy to being anorexic to have issues with binge eating and as a consequence, being overweight. I lost 50 pounds in 6 months in 2011-2012, stayed skinny mini for like a year and than gained 70 pounds over the course of 2013. I am now slightly overweight and battling bad body image on a daily basis. I want to be healthy again but my body is still shocked from all the yo-yo and is hanging on onto those extra pounds for DEAR LIFE.
But on a brighter note, I am determined to honor and nourish my body so it will trust me again. I am hitting the gym 4-5 times a week and trying to eat properly 80% of the time with the occasional indulgence. I gained weight so rapidly because I developped night binging disorder. This is still not 100% under control but I can say that I am WAYYY better now then I was even 1 month ago.
I’m currently seeing a naturopath and a personal trainer to take matters in my own hand. I am more determined now than I have ever been to love and respect my body. It’s the only one I’ll ever have and I dragged it through hell. I just want my health back. I have been on a roller coaster ride for the past 3 years and I just want it to stop so I can finally enjoy life to the fullest!
I’ll pick up the blogging thang again! I missed it and it was a good way for me to write down my emotions and my feelings.
When we last spoke in September, I was training for my first half-marathon, working as a waitress and living alone! I was also on Prozac to help with my binging at night…
7 months later, I can say that I successfully ran my first half (and registered for 2 more this Summer), I now work as a sales rep and am getting closer to my dream job and my brother actually moved in with me! Also, I completely stopped taking Prozac and I am so happy with that choice. Obviously the drug had its perks. I was happy 100% of the time and never in a bad mood. But at least, now I can ENJOY the days I feel great and be grateful for that. And know that brighter days are coming when I’m in a so-so mood. I am just happy to be drug free! I’m all for medication but only if it is necessary 🙂
Lots has changed but it’s all for the best! Haven’t felt this happy in a while and I am on a mission for happiness!
Life is great and all that has happened to me throughout the past few years just shaped me to be the person I am today. And I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world!