I apparently still don’t know myself

Today started out rather early as I had an appointment with my therapist and then I had my weekly group therapy at the hospital where I’m being treated. My meeting with my therapist went pretty well, we are now starting to talk more about me than about the food (even though food is always a subject). We talked about the absence of anger in my life, how I always just repress it because it’s easier. I actually never noticed in my 26 years on existence that I was doing that! It’s crazy how thinking about specific situations that you thought were insignificant, can help you realize some new things about yourself!

Anyways, then we did a list of all my fear food and put them on a scale of 1 to 100, 100 being the ones that create the most anxiety. Nuts and nut butter are definitely on that list. I tried to reintegrate them when I was recovering from anorexia and it would automatically lead to a binge. I tried more than once and it’s ALWAYS the same result. So we are leaving those two for later and this week, my goal is to buy and eat normally granola bars. I bought some right after my appointment, we shall see how it goes!

Fitness wise, I had 5 miles on the agenda for today but I was mentally EXHAUSTED after 3h of therapy and decided to take a nap instead. I’m getting ready for work now so no time for running. I used to feel sooooo guilty when I would skip a workout but I know I needed that nap more than the workout if I want to be able to survive my shift!

I’ll try to post pictures everyday of what I’m eating at each meal for accountability. Hopefully, this will also motivate me not to binge!

Have a good one đŸ™‚

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